Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Are they twins??? (ETA: They are 21 months apart)

I have been wanting to blog about this for some time but today I read another blogger's post about an exchange she had today and it reminded me I wanted to blog about this. To say I get this question a lot is an understatement. It happens every time we are out and usually more than once. I realize I get this because Sophia is almost the same size as Olivia BUT other than them being Chinese they look nothing alike. Olivia is truly beginning to hate hearing this question so I needed to find a good response to the question. Last night here is our exchange with a restaurant hostess:

RH: Are they twins?
Me: No. (As I am getting the "look" from Olivia)
RH: They look a lot alike so they could be twins.
Me: Actually, other than being Chinese they look nothing alike. (In my nicest voice of course!)

That actually caught her off guard and shut her up. So on the way home I thought of something for Olivia to say the next time we get the question. I would really like for her to say "No Ma'am (or Sir). Why do you ask? We look nothing alike." She likes the response but wants me to deliver it. Does anyone have another good response to this question?


  1. Grrrr.... How far apart in age are they? I should know but can't could say "well since she is ____ older it isn't really possible" I know what you mean though..drives me nuts. We get it when we are out with Mia who you have seen on our blog and she and Annslee look NOTHING alike..oh, and both Mamas are right there...weird. I feel like yelling "have you really looked at them???" or maybe "is that lady over there YOUR are both white afterall!"

  2. We got that question a LOT when Rob and I were out and about with Linlee and her friend Rachel. I would say, "No, they are just friends." But early on when Anne and I would get that question about the girls (which was odd since there was a mommy for each baby; hmmm), I would just say, "They are both Chinese, but they are not related."


  3. We get this all the time since R&R are 41 days apart and pretty same in size (not in looks)- I guess I understand it as most bio. twins I've ever met have looked different enough I would have asked them the same question :) LOL

    If I don't want to engage in this conversation (tone rude, in a hurry, etc) we just answer "nope" and it seems to shut down any future comment. I treat this question the same way as the "Are they sisters comment?" (i.e. they mean "are they BIO sisters?") If asked kindly and the person seems to have good intent and I have time, I ignore the poor wording and engage in conversation....if not, they just get a "yup" :)

  4. Colleen beat me to it... but I was going to comment on how odd it is when Colleen and I are out shopping with Rachel and Linlee and we get asked if the girls are twins. They don't look alike and they are each obviously out with their own mommy! It is so strange how people sometimes seem to have no common sense. Poor Olivia... I can imagine how she must get so tired of that question!

  5. My response to "are they twins", when out with a friend's daughter:

    "No, they are Chinese."

    That usually takes care of the problem. My mom feels the need to explain. I don't.

  6. First, I have to say how cute your girls are!! - Second, my good friend and I have daughters that are 2 days apart in age, are both Chinese, but look very different. One is taller and "thicker", the other is smaller, more petite. But we get the "are they twins" question as well. (With both of us Mommies standing there.) We usually just say 'no' and leave it at that. - I really just think people see with blinders on. Our girls, the same as your daughers, are both Chinese, but that is their only similarity.

  7. Hi, I just found your blog and am enjoying reading about your girls. I have to admit, when I first saw the pictures I too wondere if they were twins.

    We get the question all the time too. My boys are 7 months apart and look NOTHING alike. They even look like they are from two different countries. I used to explain that the ages and that they are adopted. THe longer I've had them, the less I fell a need to explain anything. I now just say "No."

    The same goes for any of the other questions I get about them or Olivia. Unless I think the person is genuinely interested in adoption, I give very short answers and change the subject. This is a very interesting topic!



Our friends say the sweetest things!