Thursday, March 26, 2009

Why do people do this?

As everyone knows Olivia is in Kindergarten this year. It has brought some trials especially now that birthday times are here as the kids turn 6. Olivia is a very observant girl. She knows when things are not as equal to everyone. I purposely did not invite her classmates to her party for a couple of reasons: 1) It was at a place where I would have had to pay for each individual and honestly we just couldn't afford that as she had 10 non-school friends coming and there are 23 in her school class so we are talking 33 kids. 2) Kindergarten is different than her preschool because there is a carpool line in K where I had to take her to her preschool class where I was able to get to know the moms and kids so I just felt a little uncomfortable inviting kids whose parents I didn't know.

Recently 2 of the girls in her class have had birthday parties and only gave invitations to some of the class (both boys and girls). I think if it is a case where these kids went to preschool together then the parent should have made an effort to call the parent of the kid they wanted to invite or sent them an invitation in the mail instead of having either their child or the teacher hand them out. As it is, they hurt other kids feelings (MY KID!)by inviting only some of the class and not all. If Olivia's feeling were hurt, I am sure she was not alone as she tends to let things roll and not let anything get to her but this was different. Tonight was the 2nd time in the last few weeks that she has cried about it.

I feel that when kids are this age it does hurt when you aren't invited to a party when others in the class are. If I had invited one person to a party I would invite them all with the exception of if it was an all girl/boy party as long as but I would have invited all the girls/boys in the class. So now a question to my readers, do you invite all the class or just part of it? Am I just being overly sensitive?


  1. Oh, I'm so sorry Olivia's feelings are hurt. I don't know how the parents can do that because they have to know that they are going to hurt little one's feelings. You know, I think that I just wouldn't invite classmates to a birthday party at this age unless my child was really good friends with that classmate and was having play dates with them. And I would NOT send the invitations to school...but as you said, I'd send them by mail.
    Anyway... I feel so sad hearing that Olivia cried. If you guys lived in Washington, we'd definitely want her to be at Rachel's birthday party!

  2. I'm so sorry that Olivia felt so hurt!

    As a former kindergarten teacher, I think it's inappropriate to pass out invitations at school unless the entire class is invited. I also think it's inappropriate to invite more than 2 or three children from a class unless you plan to invite the entire class.

    We didn't invite any school friends this year -- 10 children (three sets of twins, hence the high number), all from playgroups or the neighborhood.

  3. If we can't/don't want to invite them all, then we don't invite any. I'm sorry her feelings were hurt, give her a hug from me.

  4. You are not overly sensitive. At this age YOU INVITE ALL OR NONE. That is what I would do in our school district the kids are NOT allowed to hand out invitations unless all kids are invited.
    I agree one or two kids that get together but only half the class that is just wrong. PET PEEVE here

  5. I feel so bad for Olivia....I hate to see things like this go on. I cannot believe that any parent would let their child go into the classroom and handout invitations if all the children were not invited, that is so rude and hurtful. Our school had made it a rule that NO invitations are allowed to be handed out in school for this very reason, they must be mailed.

    Big hugs to Olivia and to you too, I am sure it was not easy to explain of console her.


  6. Oh, that makes me sad/angry. I would say something to the teacher about it...I am sure this isn't the last group of parties this year. I think if you aren't inviting everyone then invitations should be mailed too.

  7. That really is uncool for the parents to do that.Our school district does not allow anyone to pass out invites at school. Which is a great policy. Hope the classroom teacher or the school rethinks this. So sorry Olivia had her feelings hurt!

  8. Oh, Becky, isn't it hard when you have to see your child being hurt by the actions of others.
    I teach, and our school system does not allow invitations to be given at school. I agree with LaLa...I think you should voice your concerns, not only to the teacher, but also to the administrator. I am also a former administrator; perhaps, no one has really considered the pain children suffer in these situations. I think admin needs to hear from the mother of a broken-hearted child.
    Hugs to Olivia,


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