Last night was horrible. We went out to dinner with some friends, went to the airport to welcome a FCC family home and then went for ice cream -- that was the good part. The drive home was horrible. Olivia has a hard time not talking and using an indoor voice especially in a car. At home it doesn't bother me as much but the car, well it is just extremely loud and gives me a headache and last night was no exception. After being asked several times to quiet down, I made Olivia give me her beloved Taggie for the remainder of the ride home and night. Well, she did not like that and told me that she was not going to be my kid anymore and in Olivia fashion she kept repeating it over and over and over.....well you get the picture. I basically kept quiet (and quietly crying) for the rest of the ride home. We were about to turn onto our street and she said it one more time and I lost it. I said that if she wasn't going to be my kid then I wasn't going to be her mommy anymore. Yes, I know it was not the right thing to say and I feel awful for saying it but I had to show her how words you don't mean can hurt people. She went in her room when she got home just crying and crying and I felt awful because I caused the crying. I got Sophia ready for and put her in bed before tackling Olivia and this issue we were having. I went into Liv's room and got some pj's out and changed her. We then talked about how we both said things that we didn't mean and how I would ALWAYS be her mommy. I think there may be some underlying issue there but I didn't press it last night. I just held her, talked to her about our words and how they hurt, and about how we need to use our indoor voices in both the house and the car. Today has been great.....so far!
5 days ago
Don't beat your self up to much over it. Parenting is not a easy job and sometimes we all do and say things that we wish we had done different. It does not help when you have a headache and you feel like you have said a dozen times to be quiet or not to do something and they ignore you. I am sure Olivia knows you love her.I am glad today was better for you.
ReplyDeleteNo one ever said parenting was easy....some days are wonderful and others....not so good!! Please don't beat yourself up over this....it is great that you both sat down and discussed the situation!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better I have been having these kinds of days myself...Miss Sarah is really testing us...the terrible two's are in full force!
Hope you have a relaxing and enjoyable weekend!
Lisa
Awwww, I am so sorry Becky!! I totally agree that you shouldn't beat yourself up over the comment. I know I've definitely said things in the heat of the moment that I wish I could take back, but luckily, our kids forgive us of those moments, just like we forgive them for theirs.
ReplyDeleteHugs girl!!
You are such a wonderful Mommy and sometimes we all just lose it. The other day I was trying to fill out our paperwork for our USCIS approval for Coby...it HAD to be done immediately and I was literally trying to match Vietnamese and English paperwork..not fun. Annslee kept talking to me and wanting me to "come see mommy, help with this, " etc...I finally turned and yelled "I am trying to bring your brother home, go watch TV!!" Not my best moment : ( To make it up I sat down and snuggled in for an hour of Little Bill LOL
ReplyDeleteWe are human and luckily, they LOVE us : )
Oh Becky...I so know exactly what you and your daughter were go through...Even though we as mothers don't like having to go through that part of our relationship with our child...I feel it is almost like we have to in order to build another stepping stone in our lives...
ReplyDeleteJust remember, you are not alone out there...
my heart goes out to you Becky and my eyes watered up reading your story. I don't think there is a single one of us that haven't said something at one time or the other to our children that we wish we hadn't said. Hang in there, this parenting thing isn't always an easy job!
ReplyDeleteI've had to remind my kiddos on several occasions that us mommy's make mistakes too!
I found your blog on another ladies blog that I know and had to click on it when I read Jiangxi girls. We adopted our daughter from Jiangxi last year and her name is Sophie. We just completed another homestudy to adopt again and have already picked out our new daughter's name,,,Olivia! When I read that you had Sophia and Olivia, I just had to write! They are beautiful girls. About this post,,,she knows you love her and she loves you too,,,it's okay!
ReplyDelete:) Melanie Curry
Becky,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to see this post. It makes me feel better also. I'm having this issue with Ella right now. If anything doesn't go her way, she says she wants to go back to Ukraine. So I have been in your shoes where I have tried to show her words hurt. Then it hurts me even more that she cries. I sure wish these kids came with manuels. It really is the hardest job I have ever had.
Is this a Kindergarten thing????
Oh Becky, I'm sorry you had a bad night and said something you regretted. Believe me, more than once Rachel and I have had such moments with each other. It is hard being a mommy sometimes... but none of us are perfect. We just have to do the best we can. YOU are a great mom! Lately Rachel has been telling me "I don't like you" when she is mad at me... and we've been having a lot of ocnversations about how words hurt around here, too...
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